Games and fun stuff! This section is for games, time killers, widgets and jokes. The Landing Pad is still somewhat young, but there will be more and more material here in the future, so check back often.
Needless to say, I won't always be able to find the original author of any games or widgets I put here, so if you see your work listed but your name not, and would like me to add it, then please send me an email at:
Overlord AT ArmandAudrey DOT com
Thanks, enjoy, and check back often for updates!
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| Joke of the Day! Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says "But, doctor...I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. Fade to black. ***** A cowboy gets caught by a band of Indians. They decide to excecute him, and tell him that he gets one request beforehand. He whispers his request to his horse, who then gallops off. A few hours later, the horse returns with a gorgeous blonde, and the two spend the night together. The next morning, the Indians are all very impressed by this, and so they tell him that they'll give him one more request. The cowboy whispers to his horse, who then gallops away and returns a few hours later with a gorgeous brunette, who also stays the night. The next morning, the Indians are just as impressed, and give him one more request. The same thing happens, but this time it's a redhead. The Indians tell him he can have just one more. The cowboy takes his horse aside and whispers to him. "Okay. This is serious. I'm only gonna say this one more time." "Posse." ***** Q: What's the difference between acne and a priest? A: Acne at least waits until you're fifteen to come all over you face! ***** A ten year old boy walked into a brothel with a big jar of change. He walked up to the Madam and said, "I want a hooker with an S.T.D.!" The Madam just stood there, wide-eyed, for several minutes. She stammered a bit. "Um.. okay.. why would you want a hooker with an S.T.D...?" The little boy responded. "Because if I get an S.T.D., my little sister will get an S.T.D. If my little sister gets an S.T.D., my mom will get an S.T.D. If my mom gets an S.T.D., then my dad will get an S.T.D., and if my dad gets an S.T.D., then the mailman will get an S.T.D., and that son-of-a-bitch ran over my dog!" ***** A man died and went to hell. He approached the front desk where Satan was sitting at the computer playing Solitaire. As he stepped up, Satan clicked exit and greeted him. "Hi, welcome to Hell." He glanced at the computer screen and typed in a few things. "Oookay. Now this doesn't happen very often, but it looks like we don't have a whole lot of new arrivals in so we've got plenty of open slots. Well, we don't get to do this very often, but what that means is you get to pick your own torture!" Satan stood from the desk and the two began walking down a long, cavernous dungeon hallway. There were big, iron doors with barred windows, torches on the walls, and hideous screams echoed throughout. Pools of dirty water dotted the cracked stone floor and rats scurried about. The Devil walked up to the first door and swung it open. Inside was a man curled up on the floor, whimpering as he was being beaten and kicked by several fat guys wearing spiked, black leather G strings, pasties and black leather bondage masks. They all had excessive body hair, and their fat rolls glistened with petroleum jelly. One of them had the word Stud shaved into his back hair, and they all gwaffed sadistically as they hit the man repeatedly with slightly rusted iron dildos and kicked him back and forth. "BWAAA!!!" The new arrival exclaimed as he jumped back. "No, no.. not this one, lemme see what else there is!" "Alrighty!" Satan walked him a few doors down, and swung open the next door. Inside the next room was a man chained to the wall, on fire and screaming as a small group of two foot tall imps snickered while poking him with tridents, smoking Newports and drinking cold bottles of Smirnoff Ice. The new arrival flinched violently again, but kept his composure. "Igh.. No, that's a little better, but no, uh, let me see what else you got.." "Okay." Satan said, and the two began walking again. They arrived at the last door and looked inside. Inside was a skinny, liver spotted, obviously senile ninety-six year old man, stark naked and chained to the wall, staring into space. In front of him was a petite, nineteen-year-old, drop dead gorgeous blonde girl wearing a skimpy, mind blowing piece of black lingerie and nothing else, on her knees, giving him head. "YEAH! That's my punishment! I want this one!!" "Cool." Satan walked over to the girl and tapped her shoulder. "You're relieved. You can go now." |
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